Why do people ask dumb questions?

That in itself is a dumb question... I mean come on! Everyone knows that it's because they're dumb... Which I take back entirely... They are not dumb, just.... intellectually challenged. Which I take back again because I just asked a dumb question before in asking why people ask dumb questions, so I'll start again.
People ask dumb questions because someone needs to... There are some things out there that we just never question, believing that we know the answer without even asking the question.

But seriously, dumb questions have challenged humankind since the inventor of the wheel asked: “So when are you going to add the corners?” And upon finding a groovy little book entitled “A little book of dumb questions”, in my father’s “Counselling and psychoanalysis research” Bookcase (which is a little weird… but then I figured out that perhaps while counselling, people ask him dumb questions, or that while researching he asks dumb questions and just keeps the book there for reference… But when I asked him, all he asked me was: “Are you the author of that book?” to which I replied: “Are you going to write a sequel?” We have funny conversations, my father and I.) I was thrown into a world of such beautifully succinct questions that pretty much summed up life on earth. Anyway… After reading the introduction that stated that a room full of monkeys wrote the book, I found myself getting quite excited, enthralled at the prospect of reading such an intelligent read… And despite them being pretty much the dumbest questions of all time, they were actually quite profound.

Here are some of my favourites:

1. If Barbie is so popular, why do we have to buy her friends?
2. If money is the root of all evil, why do churches want it so badly?
3. Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour while washing up liquid is made with real lemons?
4. Can you imagine a world with no hypothetical situations?
5. If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
6. If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a great height, what would happen?
7. Why are they called apartments if they’re stuck together?
8. If a person with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
9. If you try to fail, and succeed, which one have you done?
10. If the earth didn’t suck, would we fall off?
11. If olive oil comes from squeezing olives, how do they make baby oil?
12. When an agnostic dies, do they go to the “great perhaps”?
13. If you have a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, do you automatically lose because you can’t find yourself?
14. What’s the word for when you can’t remember the word?
15. Isn’t it worrying that doctors call what they do “practice”?
16. Hehe… Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
17. Whose cruel idea was it for the word ‘lisp’ to have an ‘s’ in it?
18. If a man talks in a forest and there’s no woman there to contradict him, is he still wrong?
19. If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
20. How deeper would the sea be without sponges?
21. If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?
22. If a tree falls in a forest and there’s no one there to hear it, do the other trees laugh?
23. Why isn’t phonetic spelt the way it sounds?
24. Do you realise how many holes there would be if people could be bothered to take the dirt out of them?
25. Are people more violently opposed to fur than leather because it’s much easier to harass little old ladies than motorcycle gangs?
26. Should crematoriums give discounts for burns victims?
27. Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
28. What if the lid of a milk carton said: “Open somewhere else”?
29. Do radioactive cats have 18 lives?
30. If vampires can’t see their own reflections, why is their hair always so tidy?
31. Did God invent alcohol so ugly people can have sex too?
32. If the pen is mightier than a sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, then how dangerous is a fax?
33. If everything is a part of a whole, what is a whole part of?
34. Can sexual harassment at work be a problem if you’re self-employed?
35. If beauty is only skin deep, do ugly people look attractive if you remove their skin?
36. If all generalisations are false, is this one true?

Oh dear… Some people are weird… I particularly like the 'pulling off people's skin to make them look beautiful' one... I should try that one time... On others not on me.... You should see some of the ones I didn't right on my blog... Some of them were quite crude!

Oooooooooo some food for thought... The Thought Police… Wouldn’t it be great if there was a department, a secret department, in the NZ police who could hear your thoughts… No… Absolutely not! That would be a breach of human rights… But wouldn’t it be cool if you yourself could hear other people’s thoughts?.. But of course it would have to be like in Harry Potter where you can also block invaders into your mind… But anyway you could hear what people are thinking and therefore restrict them or punish them for thinking what they're thinking... Like don't you just hate it when you're walking down the street and these random guys say: "Damn you're fine" and all you want to do is slap them in the face and ask them why the hell they thought that it would be beneficial to me to know that I was “fine”? I was fine until you opened your mouth matey… Some people just have no respect at all… But the good thing about being able to hear their thoughts is that you could stop them saying it before they opened their mouths… Plus the reason why they say things like that is because they are unable to have a proper conversation with females… O what fun… Although there are some people’s mind that I would not like to read…

Secondly, Family Guy… What is with that programme?! I don’t understand it at all… Apart from that it epitomises the stereotype of the typical American male: whiney, annoying and entirely crude… Oh and stupid… Almost forgot that one…

Wow this has been quite an anti-male post… I apologise…

Anyway I have got to go because I'm whipping out for my Monday summer hockey game, well the fact it's absolutely POURING down with rain and is freezing cold kind of defeats the purpose of the summer part so I shall see you later...

Ciao xxx

P.S. I hope you're at school tomorrow Char because I was lost without you!

Can't be bothered writing an actual post so here are some poems instead...

My Butterfly

Thine emulous fond flowers are dead, too,
And the daft sun-assaulter, he
That frightened thee so oft, is fled or dead:
Save only me
(Nor is it sad to thee!)
Save only me
There is none left to mourn thee in the fields.

The gray grass is scarce dappled with the snow;
Its two banks have not shut upon the river;
But it is long ago--
It seems forever--
Since first I saw thee glance,
With all thy dazzling other ones,
In airy dalliance,
Precipitate in love,
Tossed, tangled, whirled and whirled above,
Like a linp rose-wreath in a fairy dance.

When that was, the soft mist
Of my regret hung not on all the land,
And I was glad for thee,
And glad for me, I wist.

Thou didst not know, who tottered, wandering on high,
That fate had made thee for the pleasure of the wind,
With those great careless wings,
Nor yet did I.

And there were other things:
It seemed God let thee flutter from his gentle clasp:
Then fearful he had let thee win
Too far beyond him to be gathered in,
Snatched thee, o'er eager, with ungentle gasp.

Ah! I remember me
How once conspiracy was rife
Against my life--
The languor of it and the dreaming fond;
Surging, the grasses dizzied me of thought,
The breeze three odours brought,
And a gem-flower waved in a wand!

Then when I was distraught
And could not speak,
Sidelong, full on my cheek,
What should that reckless zephyr fling
But the wild touch of thy dye-dusty wing!

I found that wing broken today!
For thou art dead, I said,
And the strange birds say.
I found it with the withered leaves
Under the eaves.

Robert Frost

AND

The lowest trees have tops, the ant her gall,
The fly her spleen, the little spark his heat,
And slender hairs cast shadows though but small,
And bees have stings although they be not great.
Seas have their source, and so have shallow springs.
And love is love in beggars and in kings.

Where waters smoothest run, deep are the fords.
The dial stirs, yet none perceives it move.
The firmest faith is in the fewest words.
The turtles cannot sing, and yet they love.
True hearts have eyes and ears,no tongues to speak:
They hear, and see, and sigh, and then they break.

Sir Edward Dyer

Oooo and this song because it's my favourite in the whole entire world

She's like the swallow that flies so high
She's like the river that never runs dry
She's like the sunshine on the lee shore
I love my love and love is no more.

Twas out in the garden this fair maid did go
A-picking the beautiful prim-rose
The more she plucked, the more she pulled
Until she got her apron full.

It's out of those roses she made a bed
A stony pillow for her head
She laid her down, no word she spoke
Until this fair maid's heart was broke.

She's like the swallow that flies so high
She's like the river that never runs dry
She's like the sunshine on the lee shore
I love my love and love is no more.